"Cradle Your Head in Your Hands"

"...and breathe. Just breathe."

We lost a big project last week. The company had been following it for three years. The real hard work started last July. I spent three weeks in Houston in October working on the proposal. We were supposedly favored - teams actually dropped out because of our presence. It came down to us and another firm - we interviewed twice - sandwiched around Christmas. We answered four sets of official written questions and we were told last Thursday that the other guys won. And they still won't tell us why. I still had to go to City Council this Monday and give a few words on how it was a shame that City Council could not even SEE what we did or what the winner did since it will all be clouded as the staff spends the next several months negotiating with the other team while we are the back-up. Meaning something sort of smells.

So we just didn't lose - we sort of got fucked.

"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, and life's like an hourglass glued to the the table. No one can find the rewind button boys, so cradle your head ....."

And this sort of cost me - comissions, stature and blah blah blah. And this other company has now become somewhat of an archrival because we are the only two left in the industry who do all of the the things we do. Sort of like Ali/Frazier ("Down goes Frazier!"). So I have been in a bit of mild shock the past week- followed by depression and seemingly missing certain components of my personality. Today my sense of humour finally reappeared - after awhile the human psyche just naturally rebounds.

"And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd cause the words are my diary screaming out loud and I know that you'll use them however you want to...."

But what really sucked was having to spend all weekend knowing I would still have to fly up there for a City Council meeting and, without sounding like sour grapes, make a point as to how strange the procurement process was. That also meant I had to stay up there that night and fly back in the morning without much will to work or do anything else. And frankly when I get real depressed about certain situations there is only one thing I like to do at all.

And that's go to Costco.

I never discovered Costco or Sam's until I moved out here and it took me a couple of years to finally sign up but I became hooked. "Making a Costco Run" is one of my favorite terms of all time. And you have to because you cannot live out here by just going to the grocery store - going to the grocery store out here is like buying everything at 7-11 - it's horrible. So it makes great sense to buy in bulk - even if you are just buying for two.

I don't want to really go through the number of staples I rely on Costco for - except to say they are large and come in bottles - but really the meat section is the best in town and I love just buying pallets of canned goods that we can stash away. Being a former restaurant worker in high school and college I like inventory. I like knowing that if I want to make my world famous spaghetti at two in the morning I have Contadina tomato paste and pasta on hand. Thank God it comes in a 24 pack.

I believe in value. I love the grocery store also but I frown on buying a little bottle of A-1 there when I can get the double-value pack for almost the same price at Costco. I will however wait and wait until they put the Chunky Soup on sale at almost a third off and buy about a hundred - that's value - and when the locusts come we'll be set up.

Sing it if you understand.

And breathe.

Just breathe.