Point - Counter Point: Natalie Maines (Dixie Chicks) vs. Ann Coulter

Well these two "broads" have been in the news lately. Let' see how they do mano-y-mano. Bitch.



NM: Well Ann I see you have caused such a stir with your insensitive comments about the four 9/11 widows. How could you? You are part of the callous section of America who just spews hate.

AC: Well Natalie – and you can say that when you and your Dixie Chicks said at the height of our nations entrance into Iraq to defeat a dictator who had consistently threatened the US (after we had allowed him to live after his defeat in the 1991 Gulf War) that you told a London audience that “while we’re from Texas he ain’t our President”? That sounds like hate to me.

NM: Hey, I’m an American – I can say what I want to.

AC: And I’m an American – I can say what I want to.

NM: Yeah – but what you say is so hateful.

AC: And what you say is equally hateful – on a foreign soil, to denigrate your president – when you really don’t know what you’re talking about (and we’re sure you don’t) – is fairly treasonous. And since your fan base is mostly middle America – what were you thinking? You’re just a singing group, a good one I might add – but I mean you’re not the Stones. Hell, Mick could say anything – but he’s just smarter (well he has to be he’s been busted so many times. One learns from this – hopefully you’ll find out).

NM: Hey I have free speech and I can say what I want to anywhere if I want to. My opinion needs to be heard.

AC: Fine. But so you understand that you are an entertainer that needs to appeal to its fans. There is no guarantee in show business. And by shouting your mouth off you all had to go in hibernation for a few years.

NM: Yes but we came back strong and had a song “I’m Not Ready to Back Down” which shows our contempt for the whole administration.

AC: Good for you...

NM: and we were went right to the top of the charts . so there. We were right after all.

AC: Nice to wait 3 years and gloat.

NM: Well it just proves we were right.

AC: Well Oki-dokey, y’all. But before your CD’ s “drop” you said you didn’t “really need the Reba McIntyre fans and the likes” – that they weren’t really what you wanted as fans

NM: That’s right. If they’re hayseeds we don’t need ‘em.

AC: Well they ARE your fans you dumb mutherfucker and you’re so ate up with yourself you don’t even realize it.

NM: No they’re not - we have sophisticated fans who believe in exactly what we think.

AC: Uh, er, -one of your songs was about a guy named “Earl”.

NM: Yea–awwh . One of our favorites.

AC: And that‘s sophisticated? It’s fun, but don’t you think the hinterland related to that is a fairly basic way?

NM: I don’t understand. They love us.

AC: So why are you having to cancel tour dates in Houston, Nashville, Cleveland – I mean Cleveland, it’s not even a hick town?

NM: well there was logistics and all..

AC” No you pissed off your fans and they HATE you! You spouted off and thought you were invulnerable but in the end you have country fans and they don’t agree with a lick of what you say and in the end they have to LOVE you to buy tickets. Did you ever consider the possibility?

NM: Well that shouldn’t be right – if the government wasn’t doing what they are doing.

AC: And what are they doing to you?

NM: Well I’m just saying…

AC: You need to quit “just saying…”

NM: But why can you say the same stuff and still get away with it?

AC: Because I am selling to MY fans – the often ignored conservative right who is never represented in mainstream media until recently – I can say what I want because I will sell books. And beyond that, I’m trying to make a point – not just spout. There’s a big fucking difference. And because the opinions of many are never expressed on mainstream TV. Did you hear Brian Williams (NBC Evening Anchor) lead in on the Monday nightly news this week? – he was indignant that the President didn’t tell HIM that he was going to Iraq? Who the fuck is he? Unfuckingbelieveable! And its also because conservatives, as a whole don’t go around rabble rousing, we are quite as a most part - it’s the liberals though that have to have a bullhorn blaring their passionate, but BS ideas - But you don’t get that do you? (Well no one on this blog does).

And I even went on Jay Leno with George Carlin of all people. And the audience cheered me. Maybe my ideas aren't that radical? Maybe I struck a chord - duh ya think?

NM: Well you're just trying to sell books.

AC: Well you can't even sell concert tickets. Maybe you should write a book?

NM: Well if I could read.

AC: I get it now. Have fun playing to vacant arenas. I’ll sign a book for you.


Editors Note: Again friends - to point out the hypocrisy of the issue - nothing more.

Hug it out, bitch!

Entourage is back and we are all happy in la-la land. If you didn't know, this thoroughly entertaining HBO Comedy (ala Curb Your Enthusiasm - meaning it comes and goes mysteriously) opened back up on June 11 for its third season. I make enuthiastic mention of this because, not only it it drop dead funny, but many times, whether you have cable or not, you never know when these shows are on or even that they exist. I didn't catch up with these guys until the middle of the second season and was delighted to find their Hollywood antics just hilarious.

Based loosely on the similar experiences of Executive Producer's Mark Wahlburg's (Perfect Storm, Boogie Nights - and more importantly being Marky Mark) first foray into Hollywood, the show revolves around rising stud star Vincent Chase, his step brother Johnny Drama (affectionately know only as "Drama" and two other buddies, Eric ("E") and Turtle who he all "hires" to help him out in the 'Wood. Add Jeremy Piven's great turn as uber-agent Ari Gold and "you got gold baby". It shows you the business and entertainment side to LA that a only a few get a decent glimpse of working out here - but we know all of the sites and places - and have experienced a bit of it in a drive-by sort of way so, in our household, we can sort of relate. Having worked in the same building as HBO I dig the boyze meetings at the agent's decked-out office which I am pretty sure was shot on an empty floor right above me at one time. And everything is so topical - when U2 was in town, well they were in the show. And name dropping Drama's name on stage! Yo Drama.

That, and the classic dialogue between these long-time New Jersey buddies puts male bonding to it limits. Add the high- octane hubris of Agent Gold and you got quotation heaven. Stuff like the infamous "let's hug it out" to "E, bring your suntan lotion because we're going to hell".

And throw in Hollywood cameos and extras all over the place from Mandy Moore to James Woods to James Cameron and you got a party. And you'll never know who'll show up. And that's drama.

Voting is Good

I voted on Tuesday. I love to vote. I guess I’m somewhat political – but more so I think I am “civic”. And more importantly I believe active participation in this process is what we should do as Americans.

I’m not going to say if you don’t vote you can’t bitch about it. That’s a simple platitude – and I don’t believe in those.

A good part of the voting process I enjoy is the neighborhood pastoral part of it. In both the Houston Heights and here in San Pedro, CA I live close by to polling places that are old high schools with auditoriums and/or foyers that are majestic in nature and bring back great memories of the schools in New York and Jersey that I attended as a kid. It is almost that as I vote – I step back in time, and a good time.

I enjoy the part that everyone knows where to go to cast their ballot and the line of friendly neighborhood people who help you in the process. And I even like the little “I voted” sticker they give you. This process of “assembling and acting” brings a sense of community that is so precious to our nation, our state, our county – our neighborhood. Little pink houses.

Voting, however, is just like anything else we may or may not do – if you do it regularly then you get in practice to do it. That makes you pay attention to what is going on – and realize that your vote IS important. It is a discipline you must master. And it can make a difference. And it is just not the national debate that, frankly, has been taken wildly out of control by the 24-hour news organizations that must find something to fill the airwaves. It is the local issues as well – and those are ones we all can make a more significant individual impact upon. Take this week in LA (please go here for a real rant).

Please realize that in this post I am trying to stay away from party or ideology leanings. The reality is that we all must participate in a healthy dialogue in discussing important issues that concern all of us as Americans – or even others. I hate it when such discussions devolve into simple one-liners, or dropping of company or politician names for some type of emphasis, such that it sounds like any elementary school playground argument. We must rise above that in order to continue to craft, monitor and employ the most free government on the globe.

And, as a start, we must vote.

The "After Memorial Day Weekend" Couch Potato Report

Since the last few weekends have been spent preparing the house for guests, including painting the entire upstairs hallway, and removing ivy from the house, and other endless household chores in anticipation for our friends' visit and subsequent trip to Sideways wine country, this last weekend was a complete veg - fully supported by the four DVD, CD, videos or whatever you call them, that Deborah brought home Friday evening - complete with a box of Dots.

But we did adventure out into the sunlight and back into the darkness Saturday to see the much anticipated, hyped and talked about The Da Vinci Code. And as has been described here before I made sure I was able to cram in a quick read of the book (since the whole world has read it) before I saw the movie. That seemed to be a must for me.

Don't do it. After reading related books about the sites, and seeing Tom on Leno and reading all of the bad reviews, I was ready to leave after the first (of what would be five) half hour(s). Later Deborah told me she really enjoyed it - she who read the book over a year ago. Meanwhile I was bored beyond belief. And to add to that it was a "quiet movie" - and although we were in the third row and frankly at least 8 rows in front of anybody else I could hear the popcorn knashers clear as day through the first friggin' hour just as if Mary Magadalene was sitting next to me with a huge buttered-top tub herself! For the love of God please leave your grazing habits at home!

Frankly the movie was fine, with a number of good parts - in fact, the many "flashbacks" that critics assailed as a use to describe the history of the Templar Knights and Constantine, for example, were really well done in a grainy hazy way - I'm not sure what else Opie was supposed to do with that. I do think the sense of urgency and danger was not really evident at the outset of the movie such that - to me- it really never got its pace that you seem to feel in the book. Despite that it is pretty true to the novel except for the final scene between Langdon and Sophie - which is just plain goofy.

And I think Tom looks fine in long hair.

Other DVD's we wasted time with this weekend:

LA Story - If you have never seen this gem shot back in 1991 with Steve Martin and a coming-out Sara Jessica Parker, run don't walk. It's amazing to me how we have pretty much been to all of those sites in the movie since. But not on roller skates.

The Family Stone - Released last year it made a bit of a ripple. Decent family holiday get-together bit with alot of good current actors, but Sara Jessica's character is so uncomfortable with everything it sort of makes you uncomfortable (I'd like to think that may be good acting). It all ends with a flourish with a great feel good song from the mid-to-late 70's which can send some of us back. Music in films in the "00's can be very important.

Capote - As a fan of many of the sub-roles Phillip Seymour Hoffman has played (Boogie Nights, Twister) I fully supported his nod for best actor Oscar this year. Now I would like my vote back. Yeah I guess he plays Capote as the high pitched 'mamby pampy elitist feme fancy boy about town' he was, but man, is it annoying. Wait, did I just say that may be good acting. Nevermind. But I'd leave this DVD on the shelf.

Last Days - Speaking of Nevemind, this movie spends the last 54 hours following somebody who is supposed to be Nirvana's Kurt Cobain around his leafy Washington State mansion grounds and streams just before he blow his brains out. The box says it's famed director's Gus Van Zant's "masterpiece". My ass. It was almost like he just set a camera in a room a pointed it at a wall. I wanted to blow my head off at the end of this one myself.

Sideways - Caught a bit of it on cable for the first time since our trip. It still friggin' rules.

Moving the only way I know - Sideways

Speaking of movies I must confess something.

Sideways may be my favorite movie of all time.

And that would be something – it would nudge out a Hitchcock classic that I thought was insurmountable on my list. Which is:

1. North by Northwest – Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in delightful and suspenseful intriguing romp through many of this country’s institutions – and the train scene is to die for.

2. When Harry Met Sally – Such a great depiction of modern love and dating – and so many truths unearthed within. I love Baby Fish Mouth.

3. Planes, Trains and Automobiles – I still well up in tears at the end. John Hughes had a great way of weaving the current and the reality in his films. Anyone who has traveled a lot can relate – and trying to make it anywhere for a holiday (who doesn’t really live at home) is a quest indeed. It makes every Thanksgiving special and the bond of these two different guys make that day.

4. Goodfellas – Why Martin Scorcese hasn’t won an Oscar is beyond me. He obviously must have pissed people off in Hollywood sometime. The music in this film is spectacular.

5. A Bronx Tale – A moving depiction of growing up as a relatively poor son of an honest working man (bus driver DeNiro) next to a den of gangsters. The best part is seeing little “C” rolling bones with the mobsters.

And, as all of us, I could add many more: Animal House actually set the tone of what we ALL DID in college – we actually took that road trip to an uptight Baptist school – and our dorm had the first university-wide toga party. I think the Waterboy is one of the funniest movies of all time. And how could I forget about The Blues Brothers – frankly an artistic comedy triumph. And I would be remiss to not add The Odd Couple to this mix – Walter Mathiau and Jack Lemmon were the best. In the end it’s just one man’s list that is also missing longtime favorites Rocky, Rocky 2, Pulp Fiction, 2001 : A Space Odyssey, Sea of Love, Scent of a Woman and many more.

Some of you may say – hey these were fun films but they are just pap – what about Casablanca et al. I sort of disagree – they are well put together with clever ideas, fantastic music and interesting premises. The reality is dramas are easy to do (oh shit I forgot Twelve Angry Men (what a great film!). I believe good comedy is one of the hardest things to pull off. And many of the older movies really put me to sleep – and I got North by Northwest there. And many times where I think my list is pitiful I ask myself “well what serious film do you like that could make this then?”

Well Sideways.

I’m not sure a more serious movie was exactly this funny. And it is serious (or dark). Miles ( Paul Giamatti) is living on a serious darkside (he steals from his Mom for chrisakes). And Jack ( Thomas Hayden Church) knows it. The guy relationship they have is priceless, real and ever lasting. C’mon Buddy, - come up here and we will have a good time. The filmmakers have framed this conflaguration in a seemingly innocuous “road trip”. But Miles is really hurting. And while he is hurting his buddy is on his way to seemingly screwing up his upcoming blue sky future life. What a juxtaposition – a guy who has it all self destructing and his buddy who doesn’t have it all – sort of doing the same thing.

You cannot find a guy on this planet who has not experienced part of this story in some way. And that is why it is so good. Conversations like the one outside the restaurant happen all of the time when two guys get involved. “Do not screw this up Miles – don’t go to the darkside”. This is exactly how two guys talk when it comes to women. When you can witness your life in a picture then it resonates to no end. And I know a real-life Jack. And many times we were a “team”. And a lot of times I felt just like Miles. And sometimes like Jack.

Sideways is also a film that you can find further meaning the more times you see it. It is fairly deep. And its characters are rich. All wanting something desperately that they cannot obtain. And I’m sure you understand the symmetry of Pinot Noir and Miles. And the other parallel part of how the film starts with a knock on the door and ends with such. Really beautiful stuff.

And a chick on a motorcycle the morning after is pretty sexy also. Love that helmet.

So why am I telling you this?

We have buddies coming out from Houston to do a Sideways vacation this Memorial Day weekend. One couple is coming to stay at our house on Thursday and then we drive up to Santa Barbara (well really Solvang) for the weekend (and the first time one of my Houston friends have come out to see us in the eight years I have been out here – unbelievable – many of Deborah’s friends and family has come out before). Then we got tours planned with about 14 people and then the fun ensues.

Deborah and I did this back in 2001 before ANYONE knew about it. In fact five years ago to the day – we went to Santa Barbara, found it fairly boring after one day, and then somebody told us about the wineries some 20 miles north. So we did a lot of what Miles and Jack did that day. And the biggest Cab of all time is at the Longoria winery storefront in downtown Los Olivos. And I’m not letting it pass by this time.

And I’m not drinking any fucking Merlot.

Duh Vinci Code

Well the verdict is in. It sucks. The movie, that is.

But first more important news.

I just finished the book last Wednesday.

As chronicled here before I grew up a voracious book reader but as I have “matured” I find myself having trouble starting and finishing books. A Prayer for Owen Meany is still sitting there with 100 pages to go. Lonesome Dove too. Meanwhile I can rip through The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged for some reason but I think that may be because I welcomed both of their altruistic natures. And maybe because I was stuck on a boat in the middle of the Arabian Gulf some 20 years ago.

Now, I travel a lot – but not really far enough to blow down a book (and besides I read the paper like its nobody’s business). I marvel at these people who pull out hardback copies on a plane to read at their leisure. I mean I don’t have room in my laptop-briefcase –purse-satchel-thing to cram a hardback in there – I have files, contracts and a computer to carry – don’t any of these people have work to do? It’s much more functional for me to cram a Time or People next to the laptop than War and Peace. Besides I really need to know what Heather and Denise are up to.

And I don’t really like the small compressed paperback – but I am in love with the “in-between” paperback that is sort of the size of the hardback but still soft – if you know what I mean. So I got one of those for the Da Vinci Code as they rolled them out in preparation for the movie’s release.

And, of course, there is no greater motivation to completing a book than when the movie blockbuster is due to come out. I mean – I cannot see the movie without reading the book – it’s almost sacriligious. Hmm – that’s almost prescient.

Now Deborah had already read it a year ago so I had to blow it down. And I liked the premise. First I’m a mystery murder fan to no end (I still have my Hardy Boys collection somewhere). Next I grew up Catholic so I was going to be preeminently interested in what the book had to say (and more importantly what my parents might say later). And lastly I spent some time in Paris for work a few years after I. M. Pei’s beautiful creation at the Louvre was finished and had the pleasure of spending several hours there – I mean I have been in that tourista crowd mingling before the Mona Lisa as they say. Been there done that. So I was very much looking forward to what this tome may provide – and a trip down memory lane.

After the first few pages I had a revelation – this guy can’t write! This murder action was written worse than a comic book! This swill sold 50 million! Jesus Christ!

But soon our hero Langdon is brought in and it starts to read pretty good (Hey Dan work on your intro buddy). And then you start to notice as it goes along – this is written like a movie! I mean the chapters are all of six pages long and he cuts to varying plot lines like a Tom Clancy novel, er, I mean movie. So as I am reading this in preparation for the movie I am anticipating the film to be great. It has my alter ego Tom Hanks is in it and I can see him playing Langdon, but where did they come up with this French chick – hmm, I don’t think so. Where was Juliette Binoche?

I thought the book ended badly – all this build-up for what? I dunno – do you? I kept looking for the other pages. I checked Deborah’s hardcopy for the other pages. What was it? Bones? Is this all we get?

Anyone who lives in airports can attest to all of the ancillary Da Vinci books that are out there. While wiling the way in Oakland or somewhere I picked up Fodor’s Guide to the Da Vinci Code. Anybody who travels know Fodor’s knows best. This edition debunks most of the Code in a very friendly conversational way – while showing you all of the works of art and places in the book. I wanted to see what this Madonna on the Rocks deal was big time – and it doesn’t really come down as it was portrayed in the book. And yeah John the Baptist looks like a girl - hey back then who didn't? Duh?

Meanwhile I think the historical and religious conversation is great. Hope it doesn’t tank Hanks’ and director Ron Howard’s career though – two of this H-town’s nice guys. It’s amazing to me what can look like a slam dunk in Hollywood can be something else. Bonfire of the Vanities anyone?

I didn’t finish that book either.

Pet Peeves #1

It was a soggy foggy Monday morning here today in LA. June Gloom is upon us such that fog and hazy days roll into SoCal at a time when you wouldn't think it. LA weather is a conundrum to many people - why is it so cold? I thought it was supposed to be sunny here! It happens all of the time.

But meanwhile during morning drive time I'm asking this question:

"Why don't all of you mutherfuckers have your lights on?!!!"

Yes - Pet Peeve Numero Uno is "Please put your headlights on" when 1) its foggy or rainy outside; 2) it's dusk or early morning or 3) you're in a parking garage.

Headlights on your car are NOT JUST for you to see in front of you - they are for US to SEE YOU!. Why doesn't everybody get this?

I roll off a hill in San Pedro everyday that is usually clouded in the early morning by what is commonally known as the "marine layer" - and meanwhile people are driving around in huge trucks with no lights at all.

I don't get it. A simple flick of a gadget on the dashboard or the steering column will enable you to "drive friendly" as we say in Texas. Why do people not afford themselves this non-evasive affordable low-maintenance safety luxury?

Personally, I am offended to no end about people driving about in the rain, in an early morning fog or at late dusk with no lights on. I'm not going to tell you what I scream at them given the opportunity.

The incongruity hit me many years ago when my father and I went on a quick "bidness " trip to Brenham from H-town. It was raining and we stopped to gas up. He agreed for me to drive his car, which in itself was a monumental event. I turned the lights on (and it was probably noon) - but a perfect drab grey Texas sky with drizzles all around (one of my favorite things).

And Dad says "you have the lights on".

And I go "It's raining Dad".

My Dad is probably one of the most conservative buttoned-up guys you will ever meet. But even he eschewed putting his lights on in the rain. The outrage!

The apple can fall far.

5/5...Again

Its Cinco de Mayo. It's also the weekend of the Kentucky Derby. And its the day Alan Shepard first went into space in 1962 or something like that.

It's also my birthday.

Growing up I loved the symmetry of my date of birth - 5/5. It was also always spring and beautiful with scent of blooming flowers in the air. It seemed every year every b-day was beautiful to no end. It was almost always the best spring day and usually with just a week or two of school left. Jasmines in the air - I mean really - my b-day was always the best spring day of all - no matter where I lived - that is my total childhood and adolescent memory. Which is saying alot.

And then last year is was 05/05/05. Wow. When does that ever happen? Not often I guess.

With all of that said I have very interesting birthday imagery. Since I was born in Kentucky (because my Dad was in the Army at that time) I have that heritage (only for 11 months). So the chicken would always come out from Mom - as she cast a wistful eye to the stars. Just because Kentucky Fried Chicken is named as it is we would have that almost every birthday. What chicken has really to do with Kentucky I don't know. Or with me.

Then comes the "feats of strength" - oh sorry, wrong tradition. Then comes the recital about how Alan Shepard was the first man in space on my birthday. My mother has the radio account embedded in her brain. The fact that Shephard got up and did a diddy around the globe on my b-day always sticks with me (for you young'ns you might remember he later hit the golf ball on the moon). I grew up a huge space and astronomy buff.

And then there is the Derby. I can't tell you the number of different places I have seen the Derby while celebrating by b-day weekend (well I can but it not that impressive outside some elegant San Francisco bars, a jack-up in the Arabian Gulf, McSorley's Bar in Greenwich Village, Camden Yards, Rio de Janiero, 405 Aston....) but that would be just showing off. Catching the Derby is a must even if it interupts whatever other fun we must have.

And of course right around when I was graduating from college the beer companies decided to make my birthday a national drinking holiday - and growing up in H-town that meant something - so everyone remembers it. And I mean everyone. A guy in Houston who once made me custom shirts at a time I needed to be well-dressed calls me all the time. He even called my Dad today and said "hey did you know what you were doing 48 years ago?" My Dad appreciated that because apparently he losing track as the number increases.

So its always been a mix of space travel, chicken, horses, tequila and glorious spring days that has made up my b-day. Quite the fight card there.

Thus it was sort of wierd when my brother called me on the way to work today to say Happy Birthday old man that I was driving through a typical SoCal marine-layer haze along Ocean Boulevard in Long Beach. I mean I can see the water. What happened to my pretty day? What happened to my beautiful wife? How did I get here?

It'll burn off. The marine layer that is.

Deborah's birthday is April 30 - so we pretty much have several weeks of doing what we want to do. Thus our combining bidness with pleasure in SF two weeks ago. Stay tuned for pics. I'm getting dragged to some play in downtown LA tomorrow.

Hopefully they'll have a bar with a TV playing the Derby.

Postscript: No shit I tell you. So right after I posted this, standing in the kitchen at my laptop like I always do, Deborah comes home and asked me if I want to go down to the mexican restaurant at the harbor for Cinco de Mayo. "No, let's just relax - I got something to do here for work and basketball is on - just get some chicken tenders at Von's." (We have that stupid play to go to tomorrow - I'm thinking.)

She comes back and says all of the grocery stores are wiped out of chicken - so she had to go elsewhere.

Yup. Just like I said. She showed up with a bucket. From the Colonel. (And she really had no idea of this past family stuff).

Symmetry I tell you.